Amish Paradise Lyrics

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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in Hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude?
You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish Paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish Paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish Paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish Paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish Paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

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User Comments

35 comment(s) posted - Showing 25 most recent.

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Kotson	04/11/2009 18:26:02
Dayam. wield all is hella funny. XD this song owns.

Zanderdude55	16/09/2008 20:29:09
what song did Weird Al remake when he wrote this song

Red_lady	21/08/2007 21:58:56
i luv this song! weird al rocks!!

swars10	05/01/2007 03:05:41
i luv dis song i hate the song gangsta paradise its 2 lame

Hi2332	12/10/2006 01:19:48
Buffman or Whoever you are: Amish don't use computers...good job. My friend Grayson was singing this in LA and me and my partner for my Amish Project are going to play this song while we are saying our report....fun, i know. :D thanks Grayson

canuckk xo	07/10/2006 01:46:49
hahaa, the last person to comment, stupid.

Buffmaster	30/09/2006 09:46:35
I am Amish and I found this song extremely offensive.

Dan P	11/03/2006 09:03:29
This song is AMAZING! The video for it is great too; Watch it if you can!

napolean_dynamite317	11/08/2005 18:32:00
this is my fave weird al song ever

band???	08/07/2005 01:04:06
This is his best song..i think that next it is The Saga Begins...FUNNY

irishmike2992	14/11/2004 03:19:45
Launch version of this is good i hav a new comp so it reads good :)

monsterr	07/11/2004 03:16:36
Anonymous, u can listen to this song at launch.yahoo.com if u have a good comp. if not it will just buffer all the time

irishmike2992	13/09/2004 03:02:54
MUSIC VEIDO IS AWESOMW

mrs_orlando_bloom	16/07/2004 19:38:53
Hellooooooo? It's Robinson CRUSOE smart one. And if you live in Lancaster which is presumably Amish, how are you typing in...?

Aqua@Heaven	06/02/2004 17:00:15
LMAO

claudia_luvs_legolas	30/12/2003 19:48:04
this song is genious and weird al is a genious and its amazing how they come up with these lyrics

Rammsteingurl	23/12/2003 17:26:45
I live in Paradise in Lancaster and this song is the coolest. It's based on where I live, and this song really rocks!! VEJA YA

Kiwi05	15/08/2003 07:51:13
I love this song!! The music video is great too!

XxXsmoresXxX	07/04/2003 02:33:40
This song is weird but i like it...and any body that dont like it can kiss my a$$...no im playin..if y'all dont like it then thats ur choice...

The_Q	31/03/2003 07:22:25
Wow, what a retard you are, (anon who said you'd prefer to listen rather than read) why the fuck are you on a lyrics site?

Lindsey	25/02/2003 17:13:32
Hey this is the best song. I have been to amish country so many times and this song has the exact characteristics of an amish paradise. The is the best song.

Anonymous	21/02/2003 17:33:52
Weird Al means Robinson Crusoe, but he clearly sings 'Caruso', so Leo has the lyrics correct.

Anonymous	13/02/2003 22:36:59
This song is kewl and eveything but one little thing..ahh id like to listen to it..instead read it!! durh!! gosh ppl these days!! not a thing in their head but rox! U SUCK!!!!!!