Sister Mary Elephant Lyrics

(written by: Michael Hack)

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TEACHER:
Good morning, class. Good morning, class. Class? Class!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
As you know your regular teacher Sister Rosetta Stone is on a small vacation. However she does send her love, at least fingerpaintings, and desk club she`s making. I am your substitute teacher, Sister Mary Elephant.
Class, attention. Attention, class! Class? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man, now give me that knife. Thank you.
Now class, you all know who I am, so let`s find out who you are.
Class? Class!? SHUT UP!!!!!

CHONG:
Far out, man!

TEACHER:
Thank you.
Now class, Sister Rosetta has informed me that your assignment for the last two months has been to write an essay in titled How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Who would like to read theirs before the class?
Class? Class!? Cla-- SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Young man in the first row, stand up, state your name, and read your essay.

STUDENT:
Who me?

TEACHER:
Yes. Read your essay, please!

STUDENT:
Uh, I don`t have it finished yet.

TEACHER:
Well then, read what you have, young man!

STUDENT:
Okay. The first day on my vacation, what I did on my summer vacation, the first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then, I went downtown to a quiet job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The second day on my summer vacation, I woke up, then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore. The third day on my summer vacation, I woke up...

TEACHER:
Now that`s fine, young man!

STUDENT :
...Then I went downtown to look for a job...

TEACHER:
Now that`s fine, young man!

STUDENT :
...Then I got a job, keeping people from here and out in front of the drugstore. The fourth day on my...

TEACHER:
Young man? Young man? Young man!? SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you.
Now class, I have a surprise for you! I`m going to read you some poems out of this lovely book of poetry. The sun kisses the morning skies. The birds kiss the butterflies. The dew kisses the morning grass. Class? Class!? Cla-- WAKE UP!!!!!

CHONG:
I gotta go to the can, man!

Transcribed by Michael Hack

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cassyy andhearts	24/08/2007 21:43:26
dude you dont even have the whole thing! theres wayy more than just that

jjkmusic

07/04/2005 07:46:33

Since there are sooooooo many comments being made during Sister Mary Elephant, it's difficult to tell what each is saying. I thought I'd start it off by offering what I think I hear them say and anyone can offer corrections without hurting my feelings, as that's what I think we're all here for. I split up the lines to indicate where someone else's comment begins.

Student 6: (Making sound of ooh, ooh)
Elephant: Good morning class. Good morning class.
Student: (two bangs)
Elephant: Class. Goo… Shut-up! Thank you. As you know,
Student 1: Hey Billy
Elephant: your regular teacher, Sister Rosetta
Student 1: I need some matches, man. You got eight. Come on.
Elephant: Stone is on a small vacation. However, she does send her love
Student 1: Hey (two unknown words). Who’s got a match, man.
Elephant: and these finger paintings and dust cloths, she’s making.
Student 1: Ah, far out.
Elephant: I am your substitute teacher, Sister Mary Elephant. Class, attention. Attention, class.
Student 1: Come on.
Elephant: Class. Shut-up! Thank you. Young man. Now, give me that knife.
Student 1: Hey, give me a match, somebody. Yeah.
Elephant: Thank you.
Student 1: Hey, I need a…
Students: (Two girls arguing)
Student 1: Hey, Garcia. Charlie. Ralph.
Elephant: Now class, you all know who I am,
Student 1: Gimme a match. You got a match, man.
Elephant: so let’s find out who you are. Class. Class. Shut-up!
Student 1: Oh, far out, man.
Elephant: Thank you.
Student 1: Hey come on man.
Elephant: Now class,
Student 1: Hey give it. Hey, hey gimme a cigarette now.
Elephant: Sister Rosetta has informed me that your
Student 1: Come on. Gimme your last cigarette, man.
Elephant: assignment for the last two months…
Student 4: (make gas sounds)
Elephant: has been to
Student 1: Come on man.
Elephant: write an essay “How I spent my summer vacation”.
Students: (some students laughing)
Elephant: Who would like to read theirs before the class? Class. Class. Cla… Shut-Up! Thank you. Young man in the first row. Stand up, state your name and read your essay.
Student 2: Who me?
Student 1: Who’s got a match man?
Elephant: Yes. Read your essay please.
Student 2: Ah,
Student 1: Hey, thanks man.
Student 2: I don’t have it finished yet, man. (snicker)
Students: (Couple of students laugh)
Elephant: Well then, read what you have, young man.
Student 1: I’ll read mine, man. You wanna hear mine?
Student 5: (someone burps)
Student 2: The first day, no, my vacation.
Student 5: (student 5 gets slapped five from another person) I can do five, man. (two slaps) All right.
Student 2: What I did on my summer vacation. The first day of my vacation, I woke up.
Student 8: Yeaaaaah
Student 2: Then, I went downtown.
Student 4: (make gas sound)
Student 2: To look for a job.
Student 1: Hey gimme a match, man.
Student 2: Then I hung out in front of the drug store.
Student 1: Cause I don’t want a thirteen.
Student 2: The second day of my summer vacation.
Student 3: Hey, lend me your buck, man.
Student 2: I woke up. Then I went downtown
Student 1: Hey, teach.
Student 2: To look for a job.
Student 1: I gotta go to the can.
Student 2: Then I hung out in front of the drug store.
Student 1: Hey.
Student 2: (short laugh)
Student 1: Hey, teach.
Student 2: The third day of my summer vacation.
Student 1: Hey, Elephant.
Student 2: I woke up.
Elephant: Ah, that’s fine, young man.
Student 2: Then
Student 1: Hey, Elephant, I gotta go to the can, man.
Student 2: I went downtown to look for a job.
Student 9: (Laughing “hee hee hee”)
Elephant: Ah, ah, that’s fine, young man.
Student 1: Come on.
Student 2: Then I got a job…
Elephant: Ah, young man.
Student 1: Hey, Elephant. I gotta go to the can.
Student 2: keeping people from
Elephant: Young man.
Student 2: hanging out in front of the drug store
Elephant: Young man.
Student 1: Hey, Elephant.
Student 2: The fourth day of
Elephant: Shut up. Thank you.
Student 1: I still gotta go to the can, man.
Elephant: Now, class. I have a surprise for you.
Student 1: Oh far out.
Elephant: I’m going to read you some poems out of
Student 1: I’ve got a surprise for you, man.
Elephant: this lovely book of poetry.
Student 4: (make gas sounds)
Students: (many students “Boo”)
Elephant: The sun kisses the morning skies.
Student10: Wow
Elephant: The birds kiss the butterflies.
Student11: Hey butterfly, give me a kiss (kissing sounds)
Elephant: The dew kisses the morning grass.
Student11: (someone burps)
Students: (everyone else snoring)
Elephant: Eh… Class. Class. Cla… Wake Up!

tats	02/10/2003 05:23:21
Even though the transcript has some errors, it is a great help to me 'cause I'm not a native speaker of English. I enjoyed this skit very much.

Anonymous	09/02/2003 07:27:06
Whoever transcribed this probably didn't find the humor in it because this is not what they are saying. After days of hanging out in front of the drug store, he got a job and that job was to keep people from hanging out in front of the drug store. Jeez.