Friends In Crawl Spaces Lyrics

I made quite a splash
I hacked and I slashed
My way to the top of Page One
The cops even checked
But they didn't suspect
I was carving up fellers for fun
Yes, I never thought
I'd finally get caught
I hope that they all rest in peace
'Cause I'm locked away
What more can I say
'Cept what I told the police

Aw, I've got friends in crawl spaces
I've got arms and legs and a few faces
Stashed all around
In different parts of town
Well I met 'em in bars on a friendly basis
Now I got 'em in jars and flower vases
Oh, I've got friends
In crawl spaces

[Musical Interlude]

I know I was wrong
I just don't belong
I guess you've heard that one before
But the guys they all dig me
I'm like Eleanor Rigby
There's a face in a jar by my door
I must be insane
Got an abnormal brain
What else could I do to get laid
The guys that I date met a terrible fate
They ended up lightly sautéed

Aw, I've got friends in crawl spaces
Every shape and size and all races
All blood and guts
Man, I must be nuts
Well, I got one that'll really kill ya
I'm the poster child for necrophilia
I've got friends
In crawl spaces

(Aw, We're really cooking now)

Well, I've got friends in crawl spaces
I'm the queer that made Milwaukee famous
Oh, I've got friends
In crawl spaces

I made quite a splash
I hacked and I slashed
My way to the top of Page One

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